I came back from India yesterday after a 3 week trip and an overload of festivity, food and socializing. I had a fabulous time, barring the toxic Delhi air, which was unbearable. Since this visit came nearly after a year, I was totally pumped about catching up with friends and family. And while I tried to restrict socializing to my closest circle (which is quite a mammoth task in India), I invariably ended up meeting some people that I could have very well avoided :-D. The good part is, my interactions gave me some interesting fodder and I decided to do a post on the most absurd things people said to me which had me laughing.

P.S. This is intended to be a fun, humorous post.

You must be thinking “Oh My Gawd, so much pollution”

Not only me you idiot, but everybody in Delhi was thinking the same. Anybody who had a choice was trying to get out of the city for a few days or stay indoors to the extent possible, schools were shut, people were wearing masks, it was pretty bad. Anyway, when I said “Yes there is a lot of pollution this time in Delhi”, this person says “You are such a firangi (foreigner)” :-).

Why do you care about spending money, you earn in Euros

Because it’s hard earned, and I spend that money on running a house and my livelihood and everything else that I feel like. I will do what I want to with it, thank you very much.

You must be used to cooking meals and cleaning up after yourself. My God, so much work, I could never do it.

What a loss for humanity, you little elitist a**.

How come you don’t have an accent

Me baffled “Why Should I?”

I am sure that you don’t want to come back.

Really? How do you? I never knew another human being could be SO sure of my thoughts, decisions and future, some super power that is ;-). But on a serious note, I heard this a lot, and it made me realize people look at being abroad with a rose tinted lens, and while it comes with certain advantages, it obviously has it’s own set of challenges. If you didn’t already know, NOTHING IS PERFECT.

Oye Firangi(foreigner), why are you stopping at a red light?

I never jumped red lights even earlier, ever. Apparently, it is now a “firangi” trait.

I love my family, I can never stay abroad

I am sure other countries must be shedding tears of disappointment today!

Do you live/have ever lived outside of India? What are the funny, annoying, ridiculous things you hear back home that make you laugh and cringe?